From the postings on the tribute page over at Facebook, it seems when anyone came into the orbit of the bright star in the center of the world known as Jamie Dyer Dordek, you were left with a sense that she was living her life to the fullest and that she was trying to teach us something about what it means to be happy, joyous and always positive.
That, maybe, this bright star that was Jamie was trying to pass her essence, her joy for life to you and all you had to do was grab on, because she had the ticket to the secret of the universe.
Our lives are infinitely short and yet we never live until we are near death. Jamie lived life, as the old chestnut goes, like everyday was her last. And I’m sure it was never a conscious decision, but one hardwired into her personality.
You see, what made Jamie special -not shortbus special, but special - was her ability to happy and pass it on like Halloween candy to anyone who met her. You could not laugh any harder, could not have more tears of joy, could not have your sides hurting more from laughing too much when dealing with Jamie. And while she had little use for religion, I’m sure if God was waiting with a checklist, she has Him roaring with laughter. She was that good.
As always, its who you leave behind, the people who have to go on living who must carry on. It is hard, especially when I could say nothing to Andy when he turned to me and said “I’m not so suppose to be a widower at 31.” Yes, the process of losing a loved one is unimaginably painful, especially if one lingers. And sometimes the pain that those long slides into death take are hard and destructive on the soul. When it comes like this, suddenly like Earthquake, its hard to process the emotions, the logic of it all.
I can be mad, which I am, but I wonder now if that’s what Jamie would’ve wanted us to be. Her free spirit attitude, her snarky, always quick with a joke and a giggle sort of life view does not go with this sadness, these tears, this mourning.
I will try to be a different person. It’s all any of can do, I guess.
The candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long, and you burned very, very brightly Jamie.
Goodbye, sweet Princess. There will never be another like you.