I've read that both Macy's and Toys R Us will be hiring thousands of temporary workers for the upcoming holiday season. Which is good for some of my fellow Borders workers who were making maybe $8 to $9 an hour. But in reality, for me, those jobs are not going to work out for me.
Mostly, because I was pulling in close to $14 an hour. And that means if I was to take one of those lower paying jobs, when they lay me off after the holiday season, my unemployment insurance will be revalued at that lower pay scale rate.
But then again, I'm not sure I'll be able to find a job that paid me what Borders did. Or even more. It sounds defeatist, but my instincts tell me I should be happy with a $10 at most. I read every day about the poor job outlook, and how more companies are letting employees go due to an economy stalled because no one wants to take any risks anymore. And let's not be fooling ourselves, most of our problems stem from Washington's huge American Schism. This unfocused, pointless debate about debt ceiling, or jerks like Ron Paul calling even minimum wage damaging to economic growth is dooming us to a cycle of recession after recession.
Corporate greed has also taken over, forcing the middle class to tighten their belts. I've abandoned so much in the weeks before Borders went under, and have continued with it since being let go 2 weeks ago. But I fear I loose so much more before I end up just giving up and taking a job at Target (which brings up the question: Target or death? Sadly, I'm not thinking Target).
In the end, as I'm told by many, its up to me to change my life, no one can do it for you. And while I agree with such a statement, I realize the tools for that change does not exist in my life. At 49, I've screwed up my life so much, I'm losing the will to wake up in the morning.
I know this self pity is pointless, but Jebus, this is how I feel. Don't discount it as whiny, childish crap. It's real, it exists.
Fuck on a fuck stick.