On Tuesday, September 13, my 14 year stay with Borders comes to an end.
While I'm bitter, angry and worried about where I'll go from here, I'm not sure I can just pack these feelings away like an old suit, and go out into our troubled economy and find a new job. Borders was comfortable, safe and I was complacent. My sister put it best by saying I was in an abusive relationship with the company, sort of like a battered wife.
Everyday I would go in, complain about the lack of support from upper management, shake my head at the latest policy change that was going to save the company, knowing that the people in Ann Arbor had no idea what they were doing. Well, beyond trying to plug a gasping slash in its bow with a cork from a wine bottle. I was abused verbally, though never directly -it was the frontline workers fault for not selling a Make Title. And I was told that as a single person, I could not change anything. But I still worked my ass off for them, cleaned their store, sorted the product, shelved it and kept it in order so customers and staff could find what the computer said was here.
I would leave, tired, feeling dejected and wishing I could leave (or get fired) from Borders. And the next day, I would start the cycle again.
For 14 years, 5 locations in two states.
Now, on Monday, my abuser dies (though I'll be back on Tuesday to clean up its mess one last time) and I have find a new job. I realize I need to remain upbeat, positive and a go-getter to show a prospective company that I'm the right person for the position. I have to ignore the fact that there could be 20 or more people vying for the same job (most who are over qualified for it as well), and hope that I have the thing, the right sort of energy that puts me over everyone else.
Borders failures are moot in the end. I know that, but I can't help but think we never needed to get here, to have this company end after 40 years. But it is what is is, I guess.
The best part is I have friends who are willing to help me achieve a new goal -even if at this late juncture, I don't know what it is.
And for that, I'm blessed.