Books: Help I Am Being Held Prisoner by Donald E. Westlake (1974/2018)

“An ingrained practical joker, sentenced to prison after one of his jokes got out of hand, is inadvertently dumped into a gang of prison trusties who are able to periodically sneak out of prison to commit robberies for which they have the perfect alibi: they're in jail. Harry Künt (pronounced Koont,  but you get the picture here; it’s a crude pun used mostly –I think- to piss off the more conservative reader) is not really a criminal by nature, and is terrified but must hide his fear from the gang, who are tough enough that they might kill him if he chickens out (or so he believes). So he uses his skill at practical joker to surreptitiously disrupt their plans, all while hoping his co-conspirators don’t catch on.”

Doing some research on Westlake, I discovered that Help I Am Being Held Prisoner, and the previous book I read by the writer, are called a “nephew” capers. As described, “the essence of the (Westlake's) ‘nephew’ plot is that the hero is accused of doing something bad that he didn't do. He has trouble finding out what that something is because the people who can tell him refuse to believe he didn't do it.” Still, most of the characters here are sort of cheerfully amoral, with an unspoken honor among them. The prisoners Harry hangs out with are not killers, just your everyday misfits, robbers and lower level mobsters (and very white, which seems odd even for the 1970s when this book was written). And what drives this humorous tale is what happens when the best laid plans go afoul, mostly due bumbling of the caper crew. I will also note that the title of the book is a bit misleading. It ties into the story in a clever way, but seems more of a McGuffin.

This a truly a marvelously funny book, though, and while I did not believe anyone within the prison administration system would not be able to figure out that some of the inmates where “escaping” only to return before headcount, I still sort of accepted this Hogan’s Heroes/Great Escape idea (though apparently, there is some truth to part of Westlake’s plot, insomuch that some prisoners did try to dig themselves out but only to get caught). But that's what good writing does, it takes the most outlandish idea and makes you forget how unbelievable it is because the rest of structure, the characters and sheer audacity of it in the first place.