28 October 2019

Books: Going Dutch By James Gregor (2019)




“Exhausted by dead-end forays in the gay dating scene, surrounded constantly by friends but deeply lonely in New York City, and drifting into academic abyss, twenty-something graduate student Richard has plenty of sources of anxiety. But at the forefront is his crippling writer’s block, which threatens daily to derail his graduate funding and leave Richard poor, directionless, and desperately single. Enter Anne: his brilliant classmate who offers to ‘help’ Richard write his papers in exchange for his company, despite Richard’s fairly obvious sexual orientation. Still, he needs her help, and it doesn’t hurt that Anne has folded Richard into her abundant lifestyle. What begins as an initially transactional relationship blooms gradually into something more complex. But then a one-swipe-stand with an attractive, successful lawyer named Blake becomes serious, and Richard suddenly finds himself unable to detach from Anne, entangled in her web of privilege, brilliance, and, oddly, her unabashed acceptance of Richard’s flaws. As the two relationships reach points of serious commitment, Richard soon finds himself on a romantic and existential collision course—one that brings about surprising revelations."


As someone who sort of likes being alone and also sort of knows he'll be alone for the rest of his life, James Gregor's debut novel Going Dutch offers a contemplative look into the dating scene that encompasses the gay community in New York City (which may make this book more a regional tale than a broad one). Some people don't want to be alone, that they need someone in their life to make them feel whole. For young adults, those in their early twenties, they get depressed when life pushes longtime friends out of the inner circle they've had for years. And we've all experienced this in some fashion, as we grow older, go out into the world after college, friends and even family members are flung to the four corners of the world and slowly (though, sometimes quickly) these people drift out of our lives. This scares many. It seems to scare the main character in this uneven novel.

I want to say that the reason it took me a whole month to read a 337 page book was because of depression, that I had no motivation or desire to read because it was too much work (well, partly that it true). But truthfully, as well, I just feel I should complete a book I read, even if I found every character in this book unlikable, including the main protagonist (again, this another New York thing?). Richard is manipulative human, a pathological liar and sad soul caught up in problems of his own making. Yes, he suffers from writer's block, but that does not excuse what he eventually does when things unwind.  Some can say that Gregor has decided to upset the apple cart and not follow the usual route these romantic dramedies go, that Richard's moodiness, the constantly confused state in which he lives in is more realistic. That may explain the restlessness he has, his selfish ways, along with being caught up in a three-way love triangle.

We've seen this plot before, though, and while Gregor offers a bit of psychological insight into loneliness that many gay men have, I found he offered little in the way of answers or even attempts at answers. Richard's unrequited love for Patrick and his inability to express that love is the backbone of many tales like this, as well. Yes, Richard's relationship with Anne complicates things, and Richard seems (arrogantly) to stay with her because she offers security and money –something he wants above anything else. But Anne is just as blind to reality as Richard is which I found a bit odd, especially coming from academics.

The real reason I slogged through was I liked the way Gregor writes, he's great at deconstructing emotions, and he can be witty, but yeah, this book just didn't work for me in the end. And maybe, just maybe, this book is just way too New York City for anyone whose never lived there.

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