21 April 2022

Books: The Guncle By Steven Rowley (2021)

"Patrick, or Gay Uncle Patrick (GUP, for short), has always loved his niece, Maisie, and nephew, Grant. That is, he loves spending time with them when they come out to Palm Springs for weeklong visits, or when he heads home to Connecticut for the holidays. So when tragedy strikes and Patrick finds himself suddenly taking on the role of primary guardian, he is, honestly, overwhelmed. Patrick has no idea what to expect, having spent years barely holding on after the loss of his great love, a somewhat-stalled acting career, and a lifestyle not-so-suited to a six- and a nine-year-old. But when his waggish set of "Guncle Rules" no longer appease Maisie and Grant's parental void, Patrick's eyes are opened to a new sense of responsibility, and the realization that, sometimes, even being larger than life means you're unfailingly human." 

Patrick was once on a sitcom, a Friends-like sounding series that made him a lot of money over a nine year period. But after the death Joe, the love of his life, in a car accident, Patrick flies away from Hollywood to the gay mecca of outer Los Angeles, Palm Springs. Here he can hide from world, locked up in his Midcentury modern home, with all his kitsch, including a Golden Globe. But when his best friend Sara (who is also married to Patrick’s brother Greg) succumbs to cancer, and then Greg admits his long-time drug habit, the ordered things in Patrick’s dull, boring life of endless brunches, parties, and his deep mourning for Joe is upended. Greg is going into a 90 day treatment center near Palm Springs, and has decided that Maisie and Grant should spend that time (it’s summer, of course) with their GUP.

The Guncle is a fun book, with snarky one-liners from Patrick and enduring love for his niece and nephew filled me with nostalgia for when my nieces and nephews were younger. It also filled me with guilt, as Rowley describes the Guncle life I wanted to be. I wanted to be the fun one, the Guncle that these kids came to when the adults were being too much. I failed them pretty much, especially my younger sister’s oldest (who lost his father as teen and who has resented the rest of the family pretty much since).

I was Grant’s age when my Dad died. But unlike Grant, I really had no help dealing with my emotions. My Mom was struggling to keep a roof over her four children’s heads, food in our stomachs, and clothes on our backs. I wanted –now nearing my 60th- then what I think I still need today, a person to help me navigate my anger at losing a parent so young. Back in the 1960’s, there was no real resources to help a 6 year-old deal with this, only some misguided sayings from my the Catholic Church, which boiled down "to get over it, and move on"

This book deals with death in its own emotional way, with Maisie and Grant trying to cope with their loss (including, in some ways, with their Dad in rehab) and Patrick, who is still dealing with the loss of Joe and now has added Sara. While the books hedges close to Stephen McCauley area of expertise, it’s a delightful novel of love, loss, and how we deal with it. It’s not new, it doesn’t break the mold, but none the less, it’s a great read for summer.

I've been to Palm Springs in the summer, and Rowley hits all the notes on city, including using real locations like restaurants and other tourist spots.  But it's a city that will work your last nerve, with it's nearly endless summer, where you're an early riser to get stuff done before the heat sets in, or a vampire, who lives for the night when the sun goes down and heat subsides to just bearable.

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