Books: The Time Wars: The Ivanhoe Gambit by Simon Hawke (1984)

“In the year 2613, with the advent of time travel, where war is a thing of the past, soldiers are now dropped into the great battles of history and people evaluate their performances. It’s how disputes are settled. One of their bosses has gone rogue, though. A referee named Irving Goldblum has travelled back to 1194 and captured King Richard the Lionhearted. Goldblum has undergone cosmetic surgery and take Richard's place in history -with one major exception. Goldblum has no intention of dying at Chaluz in 1199. Such a major change would seriously damage the timeline. So, Lucas Priest, Bobby Johnson, Finn Delaney and Corporal Hooker are sent to stop the fake King and keep history on course. Priest and Hooker take the place of Sir Wilfred of Ivanhoe and his squire. Finn Delaney with his martial arts skills (including the quarterstaff) and great height takes the place of Little John. And Bobby Johnson becomes Robin Hood. And thus, the adventure begins.” 

Hawke wrote twelve of these tales, some which are connected to famous works of literature, such as Ivanhoe in the first book, The Scarlet Pimpernel. The Prisoner of Zenda in later volumes. The first three were released in 1984, and I remember buying probably half of the eventual twelve, but only reading maybe the first three. After reading another series by him earlier this year, I decided to re-acquaint myself with the books and give them another try. 

While Hawke is excellent with his action scenes and playing out his spy games, the downfall is spending pages and pages on too much exposition –which brings his clever action sequences to a halt. I admit it’s fun to read some of that historical background –I’m sure he did his research- but it becomes tiresome after a while and you end up sort glossing over it.

In a lot of ways, it reminds me of Doctor Who, if the time travelers were soldiers and not a bumbling Time Lord with silly companions. Goldblum is very much The Master, and I could see Lucas somewhat as the Doctor. We’ll see if the books get any better over the coming months.

Interestingly, the original mass market versions have been out of print for decades, but in 2023, they’ve been reissued in both physical and digital formats.

 

Books: The Ambivalent Magician by Simon Hawke (1996)

“Trapped in a parallel universe, Dr. Marvin Brewster marshals his renegade nation of brigands, dragons, trolls, vampire elves, and the runesword Dwarfkabob to challenge evil wizard Warrick Morgannan. The Doc is unaware that his time machine has fallen into the hands of Warrick, who keeps putting people into the machine and making them disappear…only to reappear in our world, where a British tabloid reporter stumbles on what may be the biggest story of his life. Frustrated in his efforts to learn the secret of the time machine, Warrick turns his magic on the Narrator, the disembodied "voice in the ether" that only he can hear, determined to find a way to interfere with the Narrator's mysterious ability to control events. Despite everything, Warrick eventually plays the role of destiny and changes the path of the ambivalent magician--while it's being written.”

This last book is a bit funnier and a lot weirder than the previous, it’s also a bit more complex and “Fantastic Metafiction” than the previous two. This may explain why it took him some time to complete. The first two books came out about the same time, a year apart, 1992 and 1993 respectively. But this last book was released three years later, in 1996. This also explains the differences in the cover design of this book. I would assume had the third book been released in 1994, the same artist would’ve the cover just like the previous two. I could see more than a few people who need a certain continuity a bit upset that this last book does not look like the first two. 

Part of this shows up in the first chapter (though it’s more an Author’s Note), where The Narrator (AKA, Simon Hawke) is having a conversation with his fictional villain, Warrick Morganann. The Bad Magician is the only person who can hear The Narrator and thus for Teddy the Troll, Warrick’s servant, a terrifying experience. Anyways, The Narrator talks about the difficulty he’s had completing this third book: “Oh, indeed. This is rather inconvenient. Your faithful narrator wasn’t ready to start working on this book, yet. I have too many other things to do. My desk is piled high with papers from my students; I’ve got to complete more revisions on another novel I have been working on; I’m finishing up work on a graduate degree; my checkbook is hopelessly, unbalanced, and the last thing I need it right now was this.”

When Warrick threatens a reckoning on the narrator, we get more “Fantastic Metafiction” moments: “Reckoning, schmeckoning. I haven’t been hiding, I have been busy. Look, I’ve got enough trouble with the readers pestering me about when the next book in the series is coming out without having one of my characters start interfering with my writing process. Now get out of my computer and slither back to the depths of my subconscious where you belong. I’ve got work to do.”

Hawke then must get the reader caught up after a three year gap between books: “How am I supposed to summarize what happened in two novels in a couple of short and cognizant paragraphs? If I go on too long, my editor say it’s an ‘expository dump’ and then I’ll have to cut it. If I don’t cover it well enough people write me letters and complain that the first chapter was confusing, and they found the rest of the novel hard to follow. I just don’t know how guys like (Piers) Anthony and (Robert) Aspirin do it. They write the series that go on forever and the sort of thing just doesn’t seem to bother them.”

The final moment of chapter one/author’s note comes out this way: “Oh, right we were still trying to get the story started properly. Damn that Warrick, anyway I haven’t had this much trouble since I wrote those Battlestar Galactica novels back in the early 80s. Don’t ask, I don’t wanna talk about it. Just forget, I mentioned it, OK? It wasn’t me. It was at other guy, what’s-his-name. I just got confused there for a moment.” Not sure what difficulty he had with those books, but both were released under his birth name of Nicholas Yermakov.

In chapter five we get another “Fantastic Metafiction” moment: “Look, don’t tell me about courage, all right. You try making a decent living as a writer. I wrote a book connected to a popular television series about a starship and his crew and it’s been a month since I delivered it, but I still haven’t been paid. Meanwhile, the bills keep piling up. Do you think Magic is tough? Try dealing with publishers.” That is a reference to a Star Trek: The Next Generation novel he wrote (Blaze of Glory) that was released in 1995. Chapter five also features cameos by three characters from his TimeWars series, Lucas Priest, Andre Cross, and Finn Delaney.

And then the ending…which is not so much an ending, but a clever alternate take on –I guess- Blazing Saddles ending. As with the other two books in this series, Hawke lets himself get all tangled up in too much minutiae, but I found flipping ahead a few pages was usually enough to get back on track. It makes no literary advances to the genre, but I don’t think it needed to. In the end, they proved a perfect beach  or travel reading.

Books: The Inadequate Adept By Simon Hawke (1993)

“Brewster accidentally transports himself to a parallel universe that suspiciously resembles the setting of a fantasy novel…a strange, medieval world where magic really works, unicorns hate virgins and smell terrible, elves drink human blood and play guitars, dwarves wear dreadlocks and flannel plaids, talking dragons dream our universe, and sorcerers are powerful enough to detect the presence of the narrator and attempt to take over the plot. Trapped without his time machine, which has mysteriously disappeared, Brewster enlists the aid of the residents of Brigand's Roost to help him find it, in exchange for bringing some progress to their village in the form of solar power, showers, prescription lenses, a wondrous, alchemical concoction he calls "soap," and a strange, lightweight metal called "aluminum." However, any science that is sufficiently advanced would seem like magic to those who didn't understand it, and the Sorcerers and Adepts Guild takes a dim view of anyone who practices magic without paying their dues.

Much like The Reluctant Sorcerer, the second book in this trilogy remains a bit disorganized, with pages of rumination that seem to slow the story down –even if they’re sometimes funny. Once again, Hawke, via the “narrator” of the novel, becomes part of the plot. This is a device I don’t think I’ve ever encountered before in any genre, but it’s an interesting technique to keep the reader involved in the story. We do get more characters, a bit more action, and bit more stuff from the “real world”, as it were. Those pieces sometimes distract from the narrative, as well. I’m not sure how all of this will dovetail together in the next book, but I rather invested in the series now, and feel the need to finish it off before going onto the many other books I have. I would also hope we get more Warwick, the evil wizard and his assistant Teddy –they sort of get short-shifted here. But the plot line –while not deep- is enjoyable and humor remains strong (with a few whiffs of social commentary that might’ve gone unnoticed back in 1993, but seem prescient in 2023.

Books: The Reluctant Sorcerer By Simon Hawke (1992)

“In an attempt, discover time, travel, bumbling, Genius, Dr. Marvin Brewster accidentally transports himself to a parallel universe where Magic really works. Period. I land of leprechauns, giants, guitar, playing elves, chess, playing assassins, gossiping, dragons, Virgin-hating unicorns, gorgeous, Brigand queens, walking bushes, and talking chamberpots. Here Brewster’s knowledge of science -and eyeglasses, penknives, and gin- causes him to be mistaken for sorcerer. Only the real sorcerers have a powerful guild. Brewster doesn’t have a unicorn card. Or any bonafide magic. Or a way out of this crazy world where sorcerers put curses on scabs, and the only escape route is now controlled by the grand Director of the guild himself.”

For the most part, this book is very light, sometimes very funny, but it’s never going to be considered in the same breath as more established fantasy writers over the last 90 years. The book is okay, but not a lot really happens here, as there are pages and pages (of a really short novel) of exposition and humorous comments on writing itself (as Hawke sort of becomes part of the story, known as the narrator). While the idea is not that unique, it does have some original aspects, like instead of traveling to past, Brewster travels to a different dimension. And Brewster seems more able to accept his situation than most would, I guess. It makes him more likable and endearing.

Hawke can be a bit flippant (something I remember from his Timewars series), but it’s not intolerable. It’s not Terry Pratchet or Neil Gaiman, but it’s not Piers Anthony, so to each their own,

Born Nicholas Yermakov he began his prolific writing career in the early 80s with Last Communion (1981), Journey from Flesh (1981) Epiphany (1982), Clique (1982), Fall Into Darkness and Jehad (1984), along with two Battlestar Galactica novelizations: Battlestar Galactica #6: The Living Legend (1982) and Battlestar Galactica #7: War of the Gods (1982). He re-launched his career as Simon Hawke (he later changed his legal name to Hawke) in 1984, and all his books have been either part of a series and/or tie-in novels and novelizations. His first major work as Simon Hawke was the twelve volume Timewars series, which recounts the adventures of an organization tasked with protecting history from being changed by time travelers (I read about half of them). He has also written a series of humorous murder mysteries which features a young William Shakespeare and a fictional friend, Symington "Tuck" Smythe. He has also written near future adventure novels under the penname "J. D. Masters" and mystery novels. In the late 80s and well into the 90s, he began the multi-volume Wizard of 4^th Street, three Star Trek novels, a bunch of movie novelizations (including the first four Friday the 13^th books), six Dungeon and Dragons novels, and this Reluctant Sorcerer series.