I know it might sound strange -after all, I’m not a parent - but I think today’s parents are doing a very piss poor job of being a parent.
Today, I was in Target checking out. In front of me was a mom and her two kids, the oldest probably 7 or 8, the second a toddler sitting in the cart seat. The baby is crying, because the mom had taken the Skittles out of her hands so the clerk could scan them. The baby is crying, and what is mom doing about it?
Nothing. Just talking on the mobile. Eventually, the baby gets the candy back, but then realizes that its still sealed, cries even louder. Now, I could’ve never gotten away with that when I was a kid. First off, had I started crying like the kid did, my mom would’ve first put the candy back, then would’ve given me something to cry about.
My mom was -and still is - a tough women. When my dad died, she had 4 kids all under the age of 10 to take care of. She had to enforce rules and had to be both mother and father to us. Plus, she had no help from her family, even her own dad came to her and told her he was not going to help raise her kids, cause he had already brought 2 of his own up.
As we grew, we could never -and never dream of - talking back to her. If we got in trouble, she would spank us, and if she really blew her top, she get out the leather strap and wack us into next week.
While some today would say that is cruel, bordering on child abuse (cause you got to add on the verbal abuse), to me this was her right as a mom. There were boundaries we could not cross, and if we even tried a little, we would get a right hook.
This past Friday, the Bonita High School I live across was closed after a troubled student vanished just after his house was robbed of guns his father kept locked away. The student -who was to be transferred to another school - had apparently made some vague threats to the people who go to Bonita (and I found out today, that the kids was found alive).
I really wanted to be surprised at this, but I can’t. And who is to blame when things like Virginia Tech happen (or even Columbine)? Is the killer -or killers - all at fault? Should we not have some sympathy for them?
Parents today want to be their kids friends instead of being what they should be: parents. The kid at the Target store is only part of the problem. The mother, instead of teaching the child a lesson - just hands the candy over to the crying child. After all, it easier to give in than deal with the crying.
My own siblings have discovered that when you don’t discipline, when you do let them get away with talking back to you, that you lose control over them. Plus, when you add on the conceit of so many parents who think interfering in their child’s life will somehow stunt their growth.
Parents need to know that when you choose to become a mom, a dad, your needs become less important. You need to be involved in your children’s lives in all aspects. Sure, will they bristle at all the questions? Yes. But that should not be your worry.
Kids will always push boundaries, but as a parent, it your responsibility to keep them in check. And you need to say no more often. Just because Billy down the street has an IPOD and you don’t does not mean the world is coming to end and does not mean your parents love you less. If they cannot afford it, then the kid has to figure out a way to buy it themselves.
But what do you get from the child? Oh mom, you are ruining my life, you hate me, you want me to fail, blah, blah, blah. Nope, that parent is teaching a child a lesson. It’s a painful one, but I do believe it actually helps a child understand the concept that everything in life is kind of tough. If you want something bad enough, as my mom used to say, you can figure out a way to get it.
Of course, just don’t try to manipulate them. After all, that’s a parents job.
Just start being a parent, pry into your child’s life, find out if he or she is having problems in school, or what not and see if you can help. Until that child is 18, you can do almost anything to protect them. Sure they may resent you at first, but eventually they come around.
You are a parent. Not their friend.
Today, I was in Target checking out. In front of me was a mom and her two kids, the oldest probably 7 or 8, the second a toddler sitting in the cart seat. The baby is crying, because the mom had taken the Skittles out of her hands so the clerk could scan them. The baby is crying, and what is mom doing about it?
Nothing. Just talking on the mobile. Eventually, the baby gets the candy back, but then realizes that its still sealed, cries even louder. Now, I could’ve never gotten away with that when I was a kid. First off, had I started crying like the kid did, my mom would’ve first put the candy back, then would’ve given me something to cry about.
My mom was -and still is - a tough women. When my dad died, she had 4 kids all under the age of 10 to take care of. She had to enforce rules and had to be both mother and father to us. Plus, she had no help from her family, even her own dad came to her and told her he was not going to help raise her kids, cause he had already brought 2 of his own up.
As we grew, we could never -and never dream of - talking back to her. If we got in trouble, she would spank us, and if she really blew her top, she get out the leather strap and wack us into next week.
While some today would say that is cruel, bordering on child abuse (cause you got to add on the verbal abuse), to me this was her right as a mom. There were boundaries we could not cross, and if we even tried a little, we would get a right hook.
This past Friday, the Bonita High School I live across was closed after a troubled student vanished just after his house was robbed of guns his father kept locked away. The student -who was to be transferred to another school - had apparently made some vague threats to the people who go to Bonita (and I found out today, that the kids was found alive).
I really wanted to be surprised at this, but I can’t. And who is to blame when things like Virginia Tech happen (or even Columbine)? Is the killer -or killers - all at fault? Should we not have some sympathy for them?
Parents today want to be their kids friends instead of being what they should be: parents. The kid at the Target store is only part of the problem. The mother, instead of teaching the child a lesson - just hands the candy over to the crying child. After all, it easier to give in than deal with the crying.
My own siblings have discovered that when you don’t discipline, when you do let them get away with talking back to you, that you lose control over them. Plus, when you add on the conceit of so many parents who think interfering in their child’s life will somehow stunt their growth.
Parents need to know that when you choose to become a mom, a dad, your needs become less important. You need to be involved in your children’s lives in all aspects. Sure, will they bristle at all the questions? Yes. But that should not be your worry.
Kids will always push boundaries, but as a parent, it your responsibility to keep them in check. And you need to say no more often. Just because Billy down the street has an IPOD and you don’t does not mean the world is coming to end and does not mean your parents love you less. If they cannot afford it, then the kid has to figure out a way to buy it themselves.
But what do you get from the child? Oh mom, you are ruining my life, you hate me, you want me to fail, blah, blah, blah. Nope, that parent is teaching a child a lesson. It’s a painful one, but I do believe it actually helps a child understand the concept that everything in life is kind of tough. If you want something bad enough, as my mom used to say, you can figure out a way to get it.
Of course, just don’t try to manipulate them. After all, that’s a parents job.
Just start being a parent, pry into your child’s life, find out if he or she is having problems in school, or what not and see if you can help. Until that child is 18, you can do almost anything to protect them. Sure they may resent you at first, but eventually they come around.
You are a parent. Not their friend.
