On Sunday, Rob asked my about the kissing between Stephen and I.
Well, it’s not as solicitous as it may sound.
When I was living in Chicago, and hung with my friends, we always kissed each other on the lips. It was never sexual, just like kissing your mom or your aunt. A quick peck for hello or goodbye. No harm no foul. It was a natural as shaking a hand, really.
Somewhere along the lines of seeing Stephen at every shoot, we fell into kissing hello/goodbye to each other. Apparently, here in LA, this is some odd thing, though. But there is a lot of superficial things about this town -the famous “air kiss” - which could explain why this does not go on around here.
It was one of the first things I had to get used to. A hug was fine, it seemed, and maybe an occasional kiss on the cheek, but no lip lock (even if it was for a second). I guess it could have to do with certain Midwest values, where we see our friends -especially our gay friends - more as family. So giving them a kiss on the lips is seen as way to greet your family.
It would even happen to people I just met an or so earlier, too. I’ve went to parties where gay men where and I would be introduced to someone with the traditional handshake. But usually by the end of the night, as we’re saying goodby, a hug and kiss (on the lips) replaced the handshake.
For me, this almost embargo on really kissing anyone on the lips you’re not sleeping with shows LA as more superficial than I could ever believed. And the gay men of the area seem to feed into that superficialness.
I can see now, why some people end up hating living here. Despite all the nice weather -with occasional earthquakes and fires - becoming close to a person, seeing them as family instead of a rung on the ladder of success, is making them paranoid.
I never saw kissing my best friends on the lips as anything more than being in the comfort of family. For all their posturing here in North Hollywood, it seems family is one you hug only.
Well, it’s not as solicitous as it may sound.
When I was living in Chicago, and hung with my friends, we always kissed each other on the lips. It was never sexual, just like kissing your mom or your aunt. A quick peck for hello or goodbye. No harm no foul. It was a natural as shaking a hand, really.
Somewhere along the lines of seeing Stephen at every shoot, we fell into kissing hello/goodbye to each other. Apparently, here in LA, this is some odd thing, though. But there is a lot of superficial things about this town -the famous “air kiss” - which could explain why this does not go on around here.
It was one of the first things I had to get used to. A hug was fine, it seemed, and maybe an occasional kiss on the cheek, but no lip lock (even if it was for a second). I guess it could have to do with certain Midwest values, where we see our friends -especially our gay friends - more as family. So giving them a kiss on the lips is seen as way to greet your family.
It would even happen to people I just met an or so earlier, too. I’ve went to parties where gay men where and I would be introduced to someone with the traditional handshake. But usually by the end of the night, as we’re saying goodby, a hug and kiss (on the lips) replaced the handshake.
For me, this almost embargo on really kissing anyone on the lips you’re not sleeping with shows LA as more superficial than I could ever believed. And the gay men of the area seem to feed into that superficialness.
I can see now, why some people end up hating living here. Despite all the nice weather -with occasional earthquakes and fires - becoming close to a person, seeing them as family instead of a rung on the ladder of success, is making them paranoid.
I never saw kissing my best friends on the lips as anything more than being in the comfort of family. For all their posturing here in North Hollywood, it seems family is one you hug only.
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