Book of 2006, Part 8: Map of Bones

Map of Bones

By

James Rollins

This novel about an ancient secret society and the race to find priceless antiquities is sure to be compared to Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code, but, in every way, it's a much better book. Where Brown's best-seller was predictable despite its compelling premise, this tale is clever and suspenseful. Where Code featured ropey dialogue and assembly-line characters, this one offers (mostly) real people engaging in (mostly) real discourse. Like Brown, Rollins makes the most of a moderately implausible premise, this one requiring that the reader accept the literal truth of a certain allegorical aspect of the Bible. But, as both books prove, a thriller can be as implausible as it likes as long as it is entertainingly developed. Fans of The Da Vinci Code will obviously want to read Map of Bones, but even those who found Brown's opus unpalatable will thoroughly enjoy the taste of this one. David Pitt
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Like the lawyer books that came after John Grisham’s The Firm, thus comes The Da Vinci Code impersonators. While a slow read, and with characters who seem to have an extraordinary encyclopedic memories, Map of Bones is not a bad book and one not to call the Catholic Church into questionable light.

However, that being said, the novel still seems to say that the church has many supernatural secrets -though, Rollins does seem to advocate the idea to seek the truth, and not just take what the church -or for that matter -any organization that says they know all. Some claim divine right of kings, but that does not make it true.

Sci Fi's Bonnie Hammer is a nutjob

What the hell is happening to the Sci Fi Channel? Granted, never has the network lived up to its expectations, but the nut-job that runs the network, some bean-counter-yes-person named Bonnie Hammer seems to not want to make anything than another version of Spike TV.

It seems -for some odd reason - wrestling is coming to the network this summer. "Research tells us that there's a healthy appetite for wrestling among SciFi viewers," said Hammer (and you go on and continue to believe that, sister), president of USA and SciFi Channel, in a release. "With ECW, we're able to deliver to those fans unique action with a twist that's perfect for SciFi."

This is the person that put Farscape out of its misery, folks. What is happening here, of course, is another woman who has no idea what its core audience wants. She cares more about the bottom business line than making the channel worthy of watching.

Just what the fuck does wrestling has to do with sci-fi?

But then, I can’t explain why Passions is airing on the network either.

The Sci Fi network has always had great potential and occasionally tries to live up to some of the promises it planed when it launched in 1992. While I can forgive it for becoming the resting place of old sci fi shows, it has also blurred the line, with "reality" shows like Ghost Hunters and John Edwards and that strange prank show with the an even nuttier Shannen Doherty. And what was that show about normal people living with stereotypical genre fans?

Farscape, the Dune mini-series and Battlestar Galactica have proven the network can -when giving the writers/producers creative freedom - excellent programming. And while I have no real qualms with their schlock Saturday Night movies -if only because they are SO bad, they are fun to watch - because they do make money for the network, I still have to ask just what the fuck does wrestling has to do with sci-fi?

Instead of trying to make run-of-the-mill genre programs every time, I suggest that each program you attempt you put your best effort into it. If I want bad TV, I’ll watch Spike or MTV, or even the 700 Club.

But, Bonnie, what the hell are you thinking with?

Review: X Men: The Last Stand

I really can’t blame Brett Ratner, too much, for X Men: The Last Stand’s ultimate failure as worthy follow up to X2 or even a great concluding chapter of the first X Men trilogy. He was hired at the last minute by 20th Century Fox to helm the film after Bryan Singer -who helmed the first two films in the franchise - bolted because of Fox’s interference in the creative direction the series should take. And the one hired to replace him, the London based Matthew Vaughn, departed soon after, saying that he did not want to upset his family by moving them to Canada and eventually to Hollywood for a year (though, rumor has it that Vaughn, who had only film under his belt -the small action flick Layer Cake - made Fox reconsider handing over a big, and very expensive {not to mention, very important} franchise to relative new comer).

Most of the blame should go to Fox, who decided that the film should go forward afterSinger left and Vaughn was let go. They had a release date already pen in, May 26, 2006, and because, by now, Bryan Singer had signed with Warner Bros. and was in the midst of filming Superman Returns (scheduled to open at the end of June, 2006) Fox basically decided to get the film done and in theaters just to prove to Singer that he was a fool to run.

Well, I’m sure Bryan Singer is quivering.

Before I go on, let me say that X Men: The Last Stand will be huge this holiday weekend, but like The Da Vinci Code, it’s a one-trick pony and will drop exponentially in the next week -despite the lack of a big feature for the June 2nd weekend.

One of the biggest problems the film has was it’s shortened shoot. Production only began in August of last year, and that effected the end sequence, the final battle, if you will (plus, it seemed every effects house in the world was hired to get the film done on time). It was all hidden in shadows and you never got see how new characters -like Kelsey Grammer’s Beast -work their mutant powers. And, for fans of the first two films will be disappointed to see that all the careful characterization and emotional depth that Singer had brought to each of the characters was tossed away for endless destruction and needless killing-off of characters.

While I’ve read the X Men comics from time to time over the years, I cannot say I m huge fan of them, but I understand what some of the arcs these characters have gone through and what they mean to those diehard fans, and that I feel sorry for them that Fox has allowed such a ruthless tear-down of them. The Phoenix saga itself has been the pinnacle of the comics, and one that should’ve been devoted to a whole film, and not just thrown in as a secondary story line.

Plus, as mentioned, there is zero growth in all the characters and while it’s assumed that hunky, and super buffed Ben Foster will play Angel again in further X Men films, his role is minimum and could’ve been -again - pushed to another film.

This first trilogy was suppose to be about Xavier and Magneto and how each had their view on the direction for mutant rights. But all of that was pushed out in favor of a conclusion where every character gets short-changed and where 20th Century Fox decided to say, please no character development and a hurried story -what there was of it - where all you were going to get. Hell, I could’ve seen The Dukes of Hazzard if I wanted that.

Now, that being said, nothing bad can be said about Ian McKellan, who once again is brilliant in his role as Magneto and he almost makes you forget you are seeing a bad film. And, surprisingly, Brett Ratner’s direction is good, and one wonders, if given the time and less interference from pencil pushers at Fox, he might’ve made a worthy companion piece to Bryan Singer’s first two films.

Alas, we’ll never know.

One hopes that in future years, when Fox begins work on X Men IV: The Next Generation, they’ll learn from creative mistake done here. To make a film so quickly and so shoddy just to prove to Bryan Singer that they don’t need him, seems to me that you have no real investment in a franchise other than making money. X Men and X2 made money and had a concept, a story, an emotional connection. X Men: The Last Stand is pointless and shows what happens when a studio forgets why it made the film in the first place.

NBC adjusts fall schedule; Studio 60 moved to Mondays, Medium bumped until January.

Ten days after announcing their fall schedule, NBC is already tinkering with it. Faced with two one-hundred pound problems, the Peacock Network will move the new Aaron Sorkin dramedy Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip from Thursday 9pm slot to Mondays at 10, bumping the third season of Medium to midseason.

The trouble began after FOX announced their schedule and when ABC said they're going to move one of their hit shows.

Marching orders were sent to Grey's Anatomy to move to Thursday at 9, taking on first place network CBS' mega hit CSI. NBC, still trying to get out of fourth place, felt that launching a new drama against two of TV's biggest hits would be a problem, so they pulled from a potential death slot and moved it to Monday.

NBC also took this opportunity to tweek other parts of their schedule, including moving once Friday bound Law & Order: Criminal Intent to Tuesday and teamed it with Law & Order: Special Victims Unit starting at 9. This adjustment came after NBC noticed that that FOX didn't move House to a 8pm slot.

20 Good Years-30 Rock and The Biggest Loser have swaped times on Wednesday followed by a relocated Kidnapped.

Meanwhile, Deal or No Deal - which had two slots on the schedule -will now fill the slot left by Studio 60 on Thursday.

In moving Deal from Tuesday to Thursday, NBC made one more adjustment to that silly fall schedule. It will bump the second edition of the game show/tear-jerker and release Crossing Jordan from midseason and team it up with Las Vegas and the 17th season of the original Law & Order on Friday.

While I find the Burger King ads with the guy dressed as king the ultimate in creepy, I love their new Manthem for that Texas kill burger.

Hot guys all around.

ABC's Desperation

Is Stephen King filmable?

While his books have sold millions over the last 30 years -most bestsellers (despite critical panning of his later novels), the films adapted from those works have a sordid history. From the big screen era, The Dead Zone remains my one favorite work, as its perhaps the most faithful -and one of the most linear of his works - of all King’s books.

TV has been better with CBS being the first network to take on King’s work with the 1979 4-hour mini ‘Salem’s Lot (TNT remade it in 2004). ABC has been the home of King’s work since 1990's 2-part It, which was followed by 1993's 2-parter The Tommyknockers (a horrid film from a horrid book), then the eight-hour mini of The Stand in 1994; 1995s The Langoliers (about 2 hours too long) followed next. The 6 hour-mini remake of The Shining came in 1997, followed by the big hit with King’s original teleplay for 1999s Storm of the Century. While ABC scored again with 2002s Rose Red, it was a critical dud.

Director Mick Garris has helmed many of the recent TV adaptations that include The Stand, The Shining as well as the theatrical Sleepwalkers (1992) and the recent Riding the Bullet (2004)

ABC last night aired Garris’ latest effort, Desperation. By far not the best of King’s work (he wrote the screenplay) for TV, the movie follows the book fairly well, and offers a sort of reunion for 3 actors who’ve appeared in previous adaptations of King’s work; Tom Skerritt from The Dead Zone, Matt Frewer from The Stand and Steven Weber from The Shining.

Horror films, in general, only work if the actors believe what they are saying and doing. Plus it would be good if you can act. What falters this movie more than even the disappearance of Ron Perlman as the sadistic Sheriff Collie Entragian (who for the first half of the film steals every scene he’s in) and who is possessed by the evil Tak spirit, is the acting of young Shane Haboucha as David Carver.

Carver is central to the novel and here in the movie and the actor had to be believable in the role, for he needed to spout many lines of religion gump and even King’s sometime stilted dialogue. Haboucha was just not up for the test, and comes off more wooden than 19th century pirate ship. He might be spiritually-guided, but that believability factor of the actor makes it all seem hokey and, at times, uncomfortable.

I assume that this film was originally going to run 2 nights, but after the producers and director fought to keep the film here in the US (Rose Red was filmed in Australia), my guess ABC cut an hour out to save money. While this helped with some lagging that generally happens in a longer King min-series, it still would’ve been nice to see the film longer.

I’m unsure what ABC will adapt next, though the Regulators would be cool, but perhaps the Holy Grail of King’s work might be The Dark Tower series. TV could only do it justice, at least length wise (as it runs seven books) but for language and violence, the silver screen could work, but it would require enormous following from the ticket buyers. But, so would a massive production of seven books spread over years.

In the end, though, Desperation is a good film, with its only drawback being a young actors performance which lacks the depth the role needed.

Meanwhile, TNT will return this summer to King with Nightmares and Dreamscapes, four 2-hour episodes (8 stories) based on his short story collection. The cast includes William Hurt, William H. Macy, Ron Livingston, Claire Forlani, Jeremy Sisto, Henry Thomas, Kim Delaney, Steven Weber (again), Samantha Mathis, Tom Berenger, Marsha Mason and Greta Scacchi.

Fox announced fall 2006-07 schedule

The FOX network has five new shows starting in the fall, with a new schedule in January that promises the return of 24.

In the meantime, Sunday remains the same, with the 7pm hour devoted to the overflow of Football. The Simpsons, American Dad, The Family Guy and The War at Home fill out the night.

Monday sees the return of Prison Break, followed by Vanished, a drama about an FBI team that begins to investigate the disappearance of a Senator's wife, but what looks like a simple missing persons case unfolds into a vast conspiracy with national security issues at stake. Gale Harold (Queer as Folk) stars.

Tuesday launches with the new drama, Standoff, about how a hostage negotiators balance work and their growing attraction to each other. Ron Livingston stars. House balances out the night.

Wednesday sees the return of Bones followed by the new drama Justice, about high-profile defense lawyers who work to get their wealthy and famous clients out of trouble. Victor Garber (Alias), Kerr Smith (Dawson's Creek) star.

Thursday starts with two new comedies, the first being 'Til Death, which stars Brad Garrett and Joley Fisher. The premise: A happy newlywed couple move in next to a husband and wife who have been married for a number of years and have quite a different view on the institution. Happy Hour is next and is about a small-town guy who moves to Chicago, has his heart broken and moves in with a modern day Dean Martin who vows to remake him.

Friday becomes reality night with Nanny 911 and Trading Spouses.

Saturday remains, as always, Cops and America’s Most Wanted.

Waiting in the wings: The Wedding Album, a drama about the most sought after wedding photographer in town who spends his life going from one ceremony to another, but who doesn’t expect him to walk down the aisle any time soon. The Winner is a comedy about a rich and successful 43-year-old man who looks back at the period 10 years earlier when he was still living with his parents and a beautiful woman inspired him to change his life.

FOX’s Canceled Shows: Arrested Development, The Bernie Mac Show, Free Ride, Head Cases, Killer Instinct, Kitchen Confidential, Malcolm in the Middle, Reunion, Stacked and That 70s Show.

Meanwhile, the January schedule will shape up like this (but, then, nothing is in ink, considering some fall shows will not make it to January).

Once football is over, look for the return of King of the Hill to fill out the 7:30 timeslot on Sunday.

Standoff will assume Prison Break’s Monday timeslot, as it will take a hiatus until March. 24 then returns at 9 with another no repeat season.

Tuesday see’s the return of American Idol. House retains its 9pm birth.

Wednesday will start with a relocated Justice followed by the American Idol result show and the return of The Loop.

Thursday remains the same. We’ll see.

Bones moves to Friday followed by the new show, The Wedding Album.

Saturday: Move along, nothing is changed here.

The CW announces 2006-07 schedule

The new CW will play it safe, at least for the first year of its existence. Culling the best from both UPN and The WB, the new network will only add two new shows (while one Frog network show is up in the air).

The Sunday schedule goes like this: Everybody Hates Chris starts off the night at 7pm, followed by All of Us. Girlfriends returns at 8 followed by its spin-off The Game, about a woman who is about to learn the realities of dating a pro football player; all the glitz and the disadvantages. America’s Next Top Model (rerun edition) finishes out the night.

Monday begins with the once thought dead, but resurrected (for at least 13 episodes) 7th Heaven, heading into season 11. Next up is Runaway, a drama about a man wrongfully accused of murder who packs up his family and moves them to Iowa under assumed names. Things become dangerous, though, when both the law and the real killer begin sniffing around. Donnie Walhberg will star.

Tuesday brings the return of Gilmore Girls for season 7 followed by season 3 of Veronica Mars.

Wednesday brings original episode of America’s Next Top Model, followed by the third season of One Tree Hill.

Thursday remains the same as this past winter with Smallville heading into season 6, while Supernatural returns for season two.

Friday is devoted to Friday Night Smackdown.

Waiting in the wings is Dawson’s Creek creator Kevin Williamson’s new drama, Hidden Palms. The premise is like The O.C. set in Palm Springs, as a teen coping with his father's death begins to slowly notice the secrets held by the people in his outwardly flawless neighborhood.

The WB's Canceled Shows: The Bedford Diaries, Blue Collar TV, Charmed, Everwood, Just Legal, Living with Fran, Modern Men, Pepper Dennis, Related, Survival of the Richest, Twins, and What I Like About You.

UPN's Canceled Shows: Cuts, Eve, Get This Party Started, Half & Half, Love, Inc., One on One, Sex, Love & Secrets and South Beach.

In Limbo: While new episodes have been ordered, Reba’s return to the schedule is not guaranteed.

CBS announces fall 2006-07 schedule

The number one network, CBS, pulled only four new shows out their Tiffany jewel box for the fall. It’s tough being the most watched network -especially after years of being the butt of many jokes.

Sunday: As expected, with it being the last hold out of the Sunday Night Movie, CBS has finally decided to do away it, and will keep 60 Minutes at its usual 7pm slot, but will follow the next three hours by relocating The Amazing Race, Cold Case and Without a Trace.

Monday at 8 will find the relocated How I Met Your Mother, followed by the new comedy The Class, which is about former elementary school classmates who have lost touch, but are brought together 20 years later, and find out they have more in common than their third-grade teacher. Two and Half Men and The New Adventures of Old Christine return at 9 followed by CSI: Miami.

Tuesday remains the same, with NCIS at 8 followed by The Unit at 9. The new drama Smith takes over the 10pm hour. This Ray Liotta thriller is about a team of career criminals who plan and executes elaborate, high-stakes heists, all the while its leader tries to keep up appearances of a normal life.

Wednesday begins with Jericho, a semi genre/drama about a small town is cut off from the rest of the world after a nuclear disaster. Skeet Ulrich (Miracles), Gerald McRaney (Deadwood) and Pamela Reed star. Criminal Minds and CSI: NY fill out the night.

Thursday remains as it was last year, with Survivor at 8 followed by the original CSI at 9. The new drama Shark, takes over the vacated Without a Trace 10pm slot, and is about a celebrity lawyer who gives up private practice to become a prosecutor. James Woods and Jeri Ryan (Star Trek: Voyager) star.

Friday’s schedule is the exact one from May, with The Ghost Whisperer, Close to Home and Numb3rs taking up the three hours.

Black Hole Saturday: CBS will schedule a 2 hour block of CSI reruns followed by 48 Hours: Mystery.

Waiting in the wings: 3 LBS, stars Stanley Tucci as a brilliant neurosurgeon who takes a rising star in the field under his wing. The comedy Rules of Engagement stars Patrick Warburton and is about two couples and their single friend, who are at different stages in their relationships, and how they deal with the complications of dating, commitment and marriage. Joe Pantoliano stars in the drama Waterfront, about the very colorful, sometimes rule breaking mayor of Providence, R.I.

Into the cancel bin: Courting Alex, Love Monkey, Out of Practice, Still Standing, Threshold, Yes, Dear

ABC announces fall 2006-07 schedule

Despite the success of Funniest Home Videos, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy and Lost and has a maintained a second place standing among networks, despite the fact that all of their 2005-06 fall shows failed.

Sunday leads off with three returning shows, the after mentioned Funniest Home Videos, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and Desperate Housewives. The night finishes off with the new drama Brothers & Sisters, about family secrets and lies are exposed when siblings come together to celebrate a birthday; soapy repercussions follow. Calista Flockhart, Rachel Griffiths, Ron Rifkin and Patricia Wettig star.

With Monday Night Football gone, ABC will now lead off the night with the returning Wife Swap, followed by The Bachelor/Suppernanny. What About Brian will launch into its second season to close out the night.

Dancing with the Stars returns on Tuesday, and when it ends it run, another reality series Set For the Rest of Your Life takes over. Let's Rob ... takes up the first half of the 9:00 hour and is a comedy about a group of misfits who plot to rob Mick Jagger's luxury Central Park West apartment. Donal Logue (Grounded for Life) stars in the laugher, which is from Ed creators Rob Burnett and Jon Beckerman. Next up is Help Me Help You, a comedy about a therapy group is led by a doctor who may be in the greatest need of therapy. Ted Danson stars along with Jere Burns and the brilliant Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm in the Middle). Boston Legal is back at 10pm.

Wednesday has ABCs second edition of Dancing with the Stars, which will then give way to returning shows George Lopez and According to Jim. Lost returns for a third season of life on a mysterious island, which will be followed by The Nine, a drama about nine people deal with the aftereffects of being held hostage during a bank robbery. It stars Chi McBride (Boston Public), Scott Wolf (Everwood), Kim Raver (24), Tim Daly (Wings) and John Billingsley (Star Trek: Enterprise).

Thursday remains the battleground for all the networks, and with CBS still holding the lead, ABC hopes to take a chunk out the slim lead that NBC has. Big Day starts the night and is a comedy that combines 24 meets Father of the Bride, the show chronicles one big day -- in this case, the wedding day -- in the life of a young couple. Notes from the Underbelly is next, another comedy, about an expecting couple that sees how preparations to have a baby change their own relationship and their relationship with their friends. ABC will take a big risk here during the middle hour on Thursday by relocating Grey’s Anatomy, which will battle CBS’ juggernaut CSI and NBC’s new Aaron Sorkin drama Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Lost producers new show, Six Degrees, will fill out the night and is about the lives of several New Yorkers that intersect, even though they don't know each other.

Betty the Ugly leads off Friday, which is a comedy about a normal-looking woman who has difficulties fitting in the world of high fashion and is based on the wildly popular Spanish telenovela. Men in Trees takes on the middle hour and is a drama about a female relationship coach, who after her wedding plans fall apart, stays in Alaska and looks for love in chilly places. 20/20 returns on Friday to finish out the night.

Black Hole Saturday will be filled with College Football and probably movies.

Waiting in the wings: Day Break, a drama about a cop who relives the same day over and over, searching for clues about who framed him for a murder. Taye Diggs stars. In Case of Emergency is a comedy about four friends from high school are reunited and discover that their lives hadn't turned out exactly as planned. Jonathan Silverman, David Arquette and Greg Germann star. Finally, Traveler is a drama about two friends go on the run when they become suspects in a terrorist bombing. Who will trust them? How can their clear their names?

Into the cancel bin are: Alias, from hit to blow out Commander In Chief, Crumbs, Emily's Reasons Why Not, The Evidence, Freddie, Hope & Faith, In Justice, Invasion, Jake in Progress, Less Than Perfect, Miracle Workers, Monday Night Football and Sons & Daughters

NBC's announces fall 2006-07 schedule

With the new Sunday night football eating up all of that night on NBC, the Peacock network is rebuilding their schedule in hopes they can get out of fourth place next season.

The Upfronts began this week, with NBC ordering two new comedies and four new dramas. As mentioned, Sunday is Football, while the game show Deal or No Deal returns and will lead off Monday, followed by Heroes, a new sci-fi hybrid drama from Crossing Jordan creator Tim Kring. Former Alias co-star Greg Grunberg is part of a group of people who discover that they have extraordinary powers, ranging from the ability to fly to hearing other people's thoughts. Medium, returning for season three, fills out the night.

Tuesday begins with Friday Night Lights, the small screen spin-off of the movie and book of the same name. Peter Berg, who directed the motion picture version, helmed the pilot and will produce with veteran show runner Jason Katims (Roswell). Former Early Edition hunk, Kyle Chandler stars. Next up will be Kidnaped, a serialized drama about the kidnaping of a wealthy New York family's teenage son that leads to a high-stakes showdown between the criminals, the FBI and a private recovery team hired by the family. Former Angel co creator David Greenwalt will be the show runner and stars Jeremy Sisto, Delroy Lindo, Timothy Hutton, Dana Delany and Mykelti Williamson. Law & Order: SVU returns to finish out the night.

Wednesday brings back The Biggest Loser followed by two new comedies, 20 Good Years and 30 Rock. Years stars veteran comedy actors John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor as two middle-aged men decide to make the most of their upcoming golden years. Meanwhile, NBC will have two shows with similar premises, with 30 Rock coming from SNL head writer Tina Fey, who takes us behind the scenes of a show not unlike Saturday Night Live. The original Law & Order returns for year 17 and fills out the night.

With Will & Grace gone now and NBC already having trouble finding a matching show, will move returning My Name is Earl and The Office to lead off the night. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is the new Aaron Sorkin created drama starring Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford, Amanda Peet, Steven Weber, D.L. Hughley, Timothy Busfield and Evan Handler. This is other show-with-in-a-show NBC is offering about the offstage drama and network politicking involved in a long-running, SNL-like sketch comedy show. ER remains birthed in it’s 10pm timeslot, but the network will air no repeats of the show this season, by putting it on hiatus in January.

Friday begins with a second edition of Deal or No Deal followed by the returning Las Vegas and the relocated Law & Order: Criminal Intent.

Black Hole Saturday becomes the one night NBC will air Dateline which will be followed by reruns of of the Law & Order franchise.

Set for midseason will be: Andy Barker, P.I., a comedy series starring Andy Richter as a failing CPA who is mistaken for a retired private detective and then decides to take on cases. The Singles Table is another comedy about a group of strangers at a wedding reception -- who bond over their exile at "the singles table" and become friends. John Cho stars. Midseason dramas include The Black Donnellys (which takes over ER's slot in January) from the Oscar winning writer and director of Crash. The Paul Haggis series is about four brothers become involved in organized crime in New York's Hell's Kitchen. Finally, Jeff Goldblum stars a an eccentric detective Raines, who can communicate with the dead victims in his cases.

Both Crossing Jordan and Scrubs will return as midseason shows, also.

Thrown into the cancel bin is: Book of Daniel, Conviction, E-Ring, Fear Factor, Four Kings, Heist, Inconceivable, Joey, Surface, Teachers, Three Wishes, and of course, The West Wing and Will & Grace.

Book of 2006, Part 7: Bad Twin

Bad Twin

by

Gary Troup

I'm wondering if Gary Troup (which is an anagram for the word purgatory) will show up on the TV series Lost next season. This novel -rumored to be written by Stephen King; and it sort of reads like his books - is about many themes that makes the TV series Lost so interesting: the consequence of vengeance, the power of redemption, and where to turn when all seems hopeless.

The novel may be linked to the series, as it offers us clues via a mentor like character of Manny. We are given insights into King Lear, many allegory tales from the Bible about redemption, and even a mention of philosopher John Locke. Then we get a mysterious mention of the Hanso Foundation -who seem to be part of all the things that went on in the bunkers and that our hero, Paul Artisan, travels to Australia in search of lost twin brother (who share a birthday connected to the flight of 815, and returns on Oceanic Airlines.

Its a good book, by the way, and offers a mystery that you want to follow through. You don't have to be a Lost fan to understand it (but, Hyperion -who is owned by ABC - seems to want to convince you that there are major connections to the show). If anything, it reminds me of the old nior detective movies of the 1940's (and something Stephen King -if he did indeed write this book - did in a novel called the Colorado Kid). Or even in the heydey of private investigtor shows of the 1970s.

In the end, since the publisher has gone out of its way to say that "Bad Twin is a work of fiction and all names, characters and incidents are used fictitiously; the author himself is a fictional character," and that the author vanished on Oceanic Flight 815 in September of 2004, there seems to be a good chance that this Gary Troup survived the crash -though, since Sawyer was seen reading the "screenplay" version of the story, he may have perished.

Still, Bad Twin may yet fall into the series plot, as Hanso Foundation is connected to the Dharma Initiative.

Books: The Da Vinci Code (Robert Langdon #2) By Dan Brown (2003)

Well, like the first book, Brown seriously takes on Church. While I will say this is a novel, and not to be taken as anything other than that, I'm fascinated by what has happened with the Catholics over the last three years when this book was published. While the novel takes stories of the founding of Christianity and molds them into a sort of conspiracy theory, it does open the door that some of what he writes could be true. I mean, take the bible; it's written by humans, flawed and certainly with agendas that will conflict with someone else's - and, as always, history is written by the victors.

The church's stance on the novel, its almost tyrannical way its trying to convince the world that all this written is false, strikes me as a organization with a tenuous hold on its flock. While the US Catholics have been the ones the Vatican has tried to convince -with many books published since 2003 on how wrong Brown is about what he wrote - it seems to think that its flock will take what he wrote too seriously.

Of course, as history has proved, being intelligent and openly question a religion has caused many problems. Intellectuals have always been accused of being anti-religion, but I don't believe this to be true. We are just open to the idea that its possible that Christianity could be nothing more than a great idea, not a rule book to live a life. After all, no one is perfect and no one could live a life as described. The bible offers ideas -which makes it difficult to attack, really - that seem great, but humans are animalistic. Take away their comforts, their daily things that make them "human", and they become animals.

While William Goldman's Lord of the Flies is a novel, also, it certainly portrays (I think realistically) what would happen if things fall a part, if, as Stephen King wrote, the world moved on. The center cannot hold when anarchy takes over, and neither can the church when its authority is challenged.

And that's the basic mistake they make. They've been challenged and they don't like it. But while I have no real dislike for religion as a whole, for as a concept, it is good idea; love thy neighbor and what not, I take umbrage with how they explain these mysteries. It's faith.

God, how I hate that answer.

Kurt Droessller

My brother-in-law passed today, after a long battle with cancer.

I have mixed feelings, for I'm sad, yet glad that all this has come to an end.

My poor sister and her two children -along with Kurt -have been put through the ringer with the lung cancer that eventually spread to his brain.

God knows if he had just stopped smoking, gained the weight he need to take the therapy, he could've survived longer. But he refused to give up those damn cigarettes, and I hate him for that. He just didn't want too enough, and that is sad, as he robbed all his children of their future with him. Now Steven and Kyra must learn to live without a dad, and my sister must live without a husband.

While I know Dawn is doing things -like going to school to learn to be a nurse - she now must bring order to her house of chaos. I hope to God that she can make things work. For to long, her kids have made her life more complicated than it needed to be. And while talking to them seems to be a battle of wits (Kyra's eye rolling and Steven's petulant play on teenage angst) with a wall. They think we have no understanding of what they are going through, which is bullshit. They think that they have it more difficult and we just don't understand.

But the reckoning is in their future and Kyra needs to understand she lives in house where she has no rights and Steven needs to realize the world does not revolve areound him and he will have to listen to his mother and Aunt if he wants to see age 19.

But for Dawn, I send all my hopes and wish that she is strong enough -with help from the family - that she can bring order to her house.

Resty in peace, Kurt. I hope you find the rest and peace you could not find here on Earth.

Superman II to get two versions this June

This June 20 sees Warner Bros. releasing new DVD editions of Superman, Superman II, Superman III, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, along with the third season of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman and season 3 & 4 of the classic 50s series The Adventures of Superman and lastly, season 1 of the late 80s series Superboy.

As I mentioned in a post back in January, Warners has also finally agreed to release a second version of Superman II, the one directed by Richard Donner. To save production cost, Warners had the writers, producers and director film Superman and its sequel simultaneously. But as production problems where adding up -and facing a possible delay release of the first film -the Salkind’s and Donner stopped working on Superman II (with about 80% or more of the film finished) and worked on getting the first film in theaters.But the Salkind’s and Donner’s tenuous relationship boiled over before the director could return to finish Superman II and he was fired. The problems that the Salkind’s faced was -besides a dealy in the planned release of II - was keeping Donner’s name off the film. But DGA rules were in his favor, due to the fact so much of the sequel was done.

So, the Salkind’s decided to reshoot most of the film with Richard Lester now at the helm. They scrapped much of Donner’s work and reworked the script -adding some the cheesy humor that took over the film. Plus, during this time, Director of Photography Geoffrey Unsworth passed away, and in solidarity with Donner, composer John Williams refused to score the sequel (his theme was used, but the score was completed by Ken Thorne) and actors Marlon Brando (who was only suppose to be in a small part in Superman II; those scenes were filmed using Susanna York) and Gene Hackman refused to work with Lester.

Despite some these problems, Superman II worked, but with two decades behind it, the film does have an obvious chaoticness to it, with Donner’s scenes juxtapositioned (basically all of Hackman’s scenes) in with Lester’s; a tale of two very different directors and styles.

Now with a chance to fix what should’ve never happened, Donner has supervised this new version and it will released on June 20.

FOX'sThe Loop is one their better attempts at comedy

For the most part, I’ve been going on and on to anyone who will listen, how much TV is going to the dogs. Advertisers want the youth money, yet the people who are watching TV these days are not youths, but mostly adults above the age of 25. This schism creates some bizarre contradictions in programming. Sure, as I’ve said before, American Idol draws huge ratings and crosses over many demographic, however, take out the voting public, and Idol is nothing more than a show designed to give people a false impression of reality; once again showing only the genetic lottery winners (the thin, perfect features, and preferably white) need apply.

And then there is the endless tripe thrown at us, from the mindless programming of CSI and the Law & Order franchises, to lame comedies such as Two and Half Men, Freddie and most of The WB’s Friday night line up. And while FOX will pull a show quicker than Dick Cheney shooting at a friend, it occasionally will give us a quirky, goofy show that defies logic and survives.

While I cannot forgive them for killing Arrested Development, I have to admit I enjoy The Loop. I’ll grant you that has a great cast, that includes two very hot men, Bret Harrison (who I first noticed in Grounded For Life) as Sam and Eric Christian Olsen as brother Sully. There’s two girls, but I could careless. Then there’s Mimi Rogers and Phillip Baker Hall, two veteran character actors who elevate the sometime sophomoric humor to new heights.

And maybe because the show is set in Chicago, the old home town, also might figure into why I like this show.

The Loop is about recent grad Sam (Harrison) as he tries to work in the shark infested waters of cooperate America, working -more or less - as hatchet man as a no frills airline. There, he tries to find a balance between his career as this young hotshot executive and demands of his roommates. He lives with his older, slacker brother Sully (Olsen) and his college pal/medical student Piper; and Lizzy, who tends bar at their local hangout and is oblivious to the fact that everything always goes her way because she's so good looking.

Harrison has a rubbery face and plays the straight man very well. His double takes and ability not to get silly make his character very appealing, as he tires his hardest not be what every corporate drone has been for decades.

Meanwhile, Olsen’s Sully is atypical older brother seen on TV and in the movies. He’s the slacker, and actually seems to be younger than his brother. The actor is appealing and like Harrison, cute and lovable.

Perhaps the other aspect of the show is the writing, as The Loop is created by former South Park writer Pam Brady and Andy Richter Controls the Universe writer Luis Gluck. Both have a talent for offbeat humor and satire -something that is missing in 99.9% of TV comedy.

The gem of the show is Mimi Rogers and Phillip Baker Hall who seem to having a great time with these broad roles. Rogers Meryl is so politically uncorrect, and seems to take a cruel delight in teasing him -not only as his role as this junior drone, but sexually also - that she seems to be enjoying this role immensely. And Hall has made a career out playing villains and jerks, that his turn as the CEO of the airlines -who seems clueless at times, but ruthless in giving his customers less for more money - is perfect casting.

Then there’s Chicago. I love my old town, don’t get me wrong. I just hate the weather, where only 3 months out of the year is it really great place to live. The show does look as it is filmed there -those old bungalow style houses seem unique to the Windy City - but they had to film these episodes last summer or early fall, has there was a lot of outside filming (I’m guessing the interiors are filmed here in LA) as there have been many episodes so far with Harrison and Olsen nearly naked.

Anyway, The Loop has its appeal and I can’t explain why (beyond the hotness of Harrison and Olsen) and it could be a suitable (but not perfect) replacement for the now cancelled Arrested Development.

But, from my impression, FOX seems to like this show, giving it tons of exposure. Whether that translates into a second season, is unknown until next month.

But, I may now have found a reason to watch FOX (though I do like Bones). But the bitter cancellation of AD is still fresh in my mind.

I’ll be watching.

Books: Angels & Demons (Robert Langdon #1) By Dan Brown (2000)

So, I finally broke down and read a Dan Brown book. While a fairly densely plotted book of religious gobbly gook, it is well paced (I started it Saturday morning at Starbucks and finished it last night just before 11pm), but over all, it is a pulp novel that has very little lasting memory. Still, I can se why the Catholic are up in arms about what Dan Brown is writing about. As a catholic myself, I know the Vatican and their staff across the world, do not like people poking into their past. And while I would agree that science has a tendency to ignore moral issues with claims that these new break throughs will help the world, the Church is also afraid to admit that they use fear and guilt to control their flocks. For without fear the Church looses its grip. And while science can improve (almost) peoples lives who will be held accountable if they prove Jesus did not exist?

Harry Potter gets a July 2007 release date

Warner Bros. has announced that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the fifth movie in the book series, will be released on July 13, 2007.

Now, depending on the time frame of book 7 -the final book in the series, you can bet that The Half-Blood Prince should be in theaters by Christmas 2008 followed by film seven the summer of 2010, maybe a few weeks shy of Daniel Radcliffe's 22nd birthday?

Of course that last films release date depends on when the book is released. I'm guess, that Rowling will release that book in 2007. Based on a few things in the past; while there was three years between book 4 and 5, there was only two years between five and six. Rowling claims that the final chapters are already written, all she has to do is fill in the beginning.

While she has a lot to wrap up, unless she expects this last book to be as long as 4, 5 and maybe 6, I still see a July 2007 release obtainable.

Of course, there is a draw back to this notion. With Warners already scheduled a release date for Order, would they (and Scholastic Books) want to be in competition with each other? It's only logical to assume that Book 7 would come out in June of July of 07 so kids would be out of school and could read it. But with a movie and a book out at the same time, could cause a conflict.

So, the other option is this: Rowling will wait until summer 2008 to release that final book, months before Warner releases the film version of book 6 (just like in 2005). But to finish the film franchise before Radcliffe is way too old (before his 23rd birthday), they would need to working on Book 7 ASAP to get out by 2010.

So, its a calculated risk to release a movie and the final book in July of next year, but that might just happen. As always, this is just speculation. If she releases book 7 in 2007, expect an announcemt around Christmas (just like in 2004). If we hear nothing, then is it's a safe bet 2008 will see that final book.

Do we need 9/11 films?

This Septemeber will be the 5th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.

Since then, we seen specials on the attacks, some documentaries and books.

But are we ready for the movies about the attacks? One TV movie about United Flight 93 that crashed in Pennsylvania has already aired on cable. Now, Universal will release a motion picture, dramatizing those events.

United 93, which will center on the struggle between hijackers and passengers aboard the doomed plane, is being billed as a story of courage and sacrifice. But for some who saw the 2 minute trailer have expressed shock that a movie has been made so soon after the attacks that left nearly 3,000 people dead.

The question is: how soon is too soon? Some members (but not all) of the families who lost loved ones on that Tuesday, have expressed the desire that the film will honor those who died, while others have said that with only 4 1/2 years passed, a movie is not necessary .

True, many of many movies have been made about tragic, historical events: Pearl Harbor, Midway, Titanic (almost every war film) and let alone TV movies about true-life serial killers. Should their be a proper length of time before making films such as this? And who would want to see a film about a day that everyone in America will remember what they were doing until they shuttle off this mortal coil?

I remain ambivalent about it. I think there should be a movie about that tragic day in September, but I'm convinced that it should not be made until the nation can put a lot of water under a lot of bridges. Fifteen to 20 years seems a bit more realistic than 4 1/2 years, even if its about"courage and sacrifice."

The film opens on April 28.

Books of 2006, Part 4: A Dirty Job

A Dirty Job

by

Christopher Moore

After what I felt was a set back with The Stupidest Angel, Christopher Moore returns to fine form with a funny book about death. Well, how one Charlie Asher, after loosing his wife after the birth of their daughter, takes on the role of Death Merchant.

As with all of Moore's books, his humor is sharp, sarcastic and often cruel and sometimes a bit sick. Still, you can't be bored with his work, as the silly meets the macabe and everyone seems not to be generally playing with a full deck. And like his last few books, Moore brings back previous characters seen in Bloodsucking Fiends.

While Lamb remains my personal favorite, all of Moore's book are a treat to read, a like David Sedaris, they are more fun to read while surrounded by strangers. If only because you have to laugh out loud, and that makes people turn to you.

Now I'm off to (finally) read Dan Brown. I've put him off for the three years that Da Vinci Code came out. So now that Code is out in paperback, I'm finally going to read it (after Angels and Demons, of course).

Oh, and the Cubs beat the Reds 16-7, the fourth year in a row winning their opener. Of course, they don't have a chance in Hell of going to the World Series.

Still, I want to Believe.

Books of 2006, Part 3: The Great Influenza

The Great Influenza

by

John M. Barry

While not as scary as The Hot Zone, the book traces the history of the 1918 influenza outbreak that killed as many as 100 million people across the world.

The book could've benefitted from a timeline, but it was interesting. And like The Devil in the White City, I was more interested in the political climate, where the goverment in its over zealous attempt to keep things positive with WW1 going on, probably aided the virus spread by not informing the nation of its severity and not limiting troop movement until it was way too late.

No suprise here: FOX cancels Arrested Development

from the Futon Critic:

LOS ANGELES (thefutoncritic.com) -- 20th Century Fox Television has confirmed its Emmy-winning comedy "Arrested Development" won't be returning for a fourth season, for now anyway.

"While there are no plans to resume production at this time, we know all too well from our experience with 'Family Guy' -- another brilliant comedy which didn't find its audience in its first network run -- that anything is possible," the studio said in a statement to the press. "We'll always be a little hopeful that this is not quite the end for this amazing show."

The news comes just two days after creator Mitch Hurwitz told Daily Variety he'd passed on being involved with a potential revival at Showtime. "The fans have been so ardent in their devotion and in return... I've given everything I can to the show in order to try to live up to their expectations," he said to the trade paper on Monday. "I finally reached a point where I felt I couldn't continue to deliver that on a weekly basis... Of course, if there was enough money in it, I would have happily abandoned the fans' need for quality. But as it turns out, there wasn't."

The oft-mentioned Showtime offer had been contingent on Hurwitz remaining on board as showrunner.

The 20th statement confirmed the decision, saying he "expressed his desire to move on from 'Arrested Development,' and we accept his decision... [We're] grateful for the incredible passion which the fans and the critics have shown it from the beginning."

***********************************************************************************

This is a sad notice, indeed. But there is something the major networks don't understand, and refuse to even consider: that the viewers they seek, the 12 to 24, are not appointment bound TV viewers. They're playing video games. They don't care about what's on.

Dick Wolf, the creator of the Law & Order franchise is right: the networks have to create shows with content that the 25 and up are actually watching. These are the real viewers, the real appointment bound watcher.

While American Idol garners in high ratings, the only reason it does is because viewers vote for who goes and who stays. Take that away, and Idol would be a bore. The broadcast networks would rather develope a TV show featuring the Pussycat Dolls than keep a brilliant show that was Arrested Development.

And the broadcast networks will continue face an erosion in viewers until they realize this. As a big fan of TV, I've lost interest in it, if only because I can no longer feel there is anything worth watching, beyond just a handful of shows.

Keep thinking teenage boys are watching and buying the crap that is advertised. Sure, girls are watching, but they too are not beyond being bored with the crap the networks foist on us.

More meat to the stories and less Easter Peep shows. And, please, no more CSI or Law & Order. Something orginal, please. And something smart.

Like Arrested Development.

Brother's birthday

Today was my brothers 47th birthday!!!

It hit me when I was talking to him tonight how old we are all getting. My sister will be 45 this May while I'll be 44 this fall. Even my youngest sister will be 42 in October.

And Mom, dear sweet Mom will be 71 in June.

While its only a number, as my sister puts it, I still cannot believe how old everyone is getting. Time is marching on, I realize, but my brother is 3 years from getting his aarp card.

How bizzare.

Glactica's delay might be Doctor Who's gain?

With the announcment that the third season of Battlestar Galactica will not debut on Sci Fi until October has sent fans into a tizzy. However, there may be a reason, beyond Ronald D. Moore's comment at the Grand Slam convention this past weekend that "it was a network decision." NBC/Universal, which ownes Sci Fi, could be looking for a new hit. Speculation and rapid rumor suggests that NBC will want to show the revamped series this fall on the network, with second runnings on Sci Fi in October.

The Peacock network has fallen to third place behind CBS and ABC in all important 18-49 demographic and is need of hit. And while its a good bet Surface will be cancelled, NBC could stay in the sci fi game by bringing Galactica to the network. Plus, with a solid fan base and stories that feel current, the new BG could gain an even larger following.

Meanwhile, with this delay, another specualtion is who or what will fill BG's timeslot this July when both Stargate: SG1 and Stargate: Atlantis return. And who might just be the second season of the revamped Doctor Who. The first season of show debuts on this Friday, March 17, with a showing of two episodes. Now, following the show week to week over the next 13 weeks (which should include the Christmas episode), it would end on June 9.

The second season of Who begins airing in April in the UK, with the show ending in late June. If ratings for Who are strong enough here in the States (and my guess is that is a moot point; I'm betting Sci Fi already has an agreement to air that second season, but is waiting), we could see that season with only a minimal delay. In theory, Sci Fi could start that second season the same night as when both Stargate's return. Then, when Doctor Who's ends its second season they could go right into Battlestar's third season.

It's my guess, we'll see if it bares any fruit.

Grand Slam 2006

Went to my first sci fi convention in perhaps a decade or more. I stopped going to them for a few reasons, but most blame can be put on the fans. My best friend Marc once told me I have a healthy obsession with Star Trek, and know where to draw the line.

Still, I spent all day with the Hidden Frontier bunch, Jenn, Barbara, Rob and PK. Just talking, looking at the people and (at most times) keeping my opinion to myself. Bill and Tim were off getting their autographs and seeing the stars talk about their respective shows/movies.

Got to meet DS9's Leeta,Chase Masterson, whom Bill has had a friendship over the years, and talked a bit from Farscape actress Virginia Hey about her own homemade candle and soap line. Close by the HF table (in the very chilly "annex" area that resembled a parking garage) was Wil Wheaton(Wesley Crusher) and Suzie Plakson (TNG and VOY). Also there was Jay Laga'aia, who played Captain Typho in Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones (and who is hot). The annex was the area that the stars also had to through for the photo-op, where a professional photographer took pictures of you and the star. So, I saw Brent Spiner, Jared Padalecki (hot, also), and Naveen Andrews (hot, and shorter than I imagened, as are most of these stars).

Perhaps the highlight of the day, was going out to dinner with Bill, Tim and Don (a military guy whom Bill met a few years ago at a convention. Great voice and real personable). What Bill failed to mention was that joining us was Herb Jerfferson, Boomer on the old Battlestar Galactica TV series. It seems all of these guys share the same interest in space program, and I was amazed and a little surprised on what these guys knew, especially Don who whip smart.

It was cool, and I enjoyed myself.

But the fans who dressed their two dogs up in Starfleet uniforms need to be arrested. Animals should never be dressed up. Its just not right.

BC: If the Americans can have 3 CSI's and 3 Law & Order's why not another Doctor Who spin-off?

While the BBC is in decline mode, but Doctor Who is becoming a franchise. With Doctor Who about to debut season 2 in April -and with a third season already planned - and its first spin-off Torchwood set to begin airing this fall, it looks like Sarah Jane Smith and her trusty robot dog K9 are back in a new children's series.

Elizabeth Sladen as Sarah Jane and K9 will return to Doctor Who in the third episode of season two, called School Reunion. If this is true, this would be the second attempt by the BBC to launch a Sarah Jane show. She did a sort of one-off/potential pilot called K9 and Company back on 1980. But with the success of the new updated show, the BBC appears to to be striking while its hot.

Unlike the CSI franchise, the BBC seems to appealing to a large spectrum of Who fans. While the current series is for famlies and long-time fans, Torchwood will be more adult sci fi fair featuring Captain Jack actor John Barrowman. If this Sarah Jane spin-off is true, it will be designed for the younger audience.

Brokeback wins 3 Oscars but Hollywood still won't come out of the closet

While I wanted it to win, I knew Crash was going to take the Best Film at the Oscars tonight, if only because it was more social themed film than Brokeback. Still, as my roommate said, Hollywood supports gays from the closet. Critics and other have given Brokeback more awards than Crash (and which came out early in 2005), but are unwilling to go "all the way" and say its the Best Picture of the Year. Some have called it homophobia, which I'm sure plays apart.

But, I can also see through the smoke screen that comes out of Hollywood. Tha Oscars are still run by a bunch of old white people, who still (no matter what the Right says) plays it safe. I choose Giamatti because I wanted him to win, but Clooney won based on the fact he is Hollywood royalty and has paid his dues for over 25 plus years in the business. I just had hoped that maybe, they were changing. Giving the Oscar to the 3 6 Mafia was supposed to give the world the impression that the Oscars are hip.

Giving Crash Best Picture was suppose to be just like the song, showing that Hollywood is hip to racism. But no matter how you look at it, racism is still going strong, from here in LA or to my home town of Chicago, were people play the racism card for everything under the sun. Crash's win will change nothing, were Brokeback Mountain could've been a watershed in Oscar history. Sure, the movie was either ignored (I'm sure some members didn't even watch it) or made some of the uncomfortable. Which is, from my opinion, better than the racism at the heart of Crash. While most white folks deal fairly well with racism, by either avoiding it or ignoring it, others see homosexuality as a greater "sin" for lack of better term. For the Oscar voters, to them it was more conscious to give it to Crash, because they look socially responsible.

But it was the worst of two evils for them, maybe. Giving it to Brokeback might've caused some backlash -however doubtful, because the Right still likes the money these films make. But, then again, I could be wrong.

But, while I don't want to come off a victim, but after so many awards, so many accolades, so many changed minds, for Crash to win Best Picture just smacked of disingenuous attitude from the folks at the Oscars. Playing it safe, predictable and just mechanical are their motives. If the Oscars want the ratings to go up, they need to really show the world they are willing to give to the best deserving film instead of just being socially responsible.

So, Brokeback Mountain walked away with 3, Best Director, Adapted Screenplay and Original Score. I had hoped for a fourth, in Cineatography, but it was not meant to be. Crash also walked away with three awards, as did King Kong and Memoirs of a Geisha.


revised: 3/8/06

For the love of a dog

I have no idea who wrote this, but for any dog lover out there:

Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for that kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you should have me learn.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when you footsteps falls upon my waiting ears.

Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated animal no longer accustomed to the bitter elements. I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.

Keep my pan filled with water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, so I can stay well; to romp and play and do your bidding; to walk by your side and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.

And, my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having fun. Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this earth knowing with my last breath I draw that my fate was always safest in your hands.

My Oscar Choices

Its the only award show I care about, folks (besides the Emmy's).

Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon
Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz
Best Supporting Actor: Paul Giamatti
Best Director: Ang Lee
Best Picture: Crash
Adapated Screenplay: Brokeback Mountain
Original Screenplay: Crash

I also predict that Brokeback Mountain will win 4 of the 8 they are nominated in.

My only possible misstep may be Best Supporting Actor. George Clooney could be the upset, as I still think the academy may give it to Giamatti just because they screwed him last year.

We'll see on Sunday.

Death for Hollywood stars comes in 3's

First Don Knotts on Friday.

Darren McGavin on Saturday

and finally

Dennis Weaver.

Hollywood oldsters must go on lockdown when someone dies. While Knotts was a talented actor and made The Andy Griffith Show the legend that it is, I was never to keen on him, even when he played the buffoon on Three's Company.

Darren McGavin, however, was for me the best character acter out there. I still remember watching the first two Kolchak TV movies and then the limited series. And who can ever forget him in perhaps his most classic role as the Dad in the best Christmas comedy ever made made, A Christmas Story. He'll be missed.

Dennis Weaver was always, to me, a strange actor. I first saw him in McCloud, the Texas cop who befuddled the big city police with his down home country style on those Mystery Movies that aired on NBC in the 1970s. Little did I know, until years later, that he had starred on Gunsmoke -the longest running primetime TV drama in history and something that shall never be surprassed {espcially with episode count} - and a little TV movie called Duel that introduced the world to Steven Spielberg.

Still, I never found him more than one dimensional in the roles he chose. Maybe, I forever cast him as McCloud?

So, there is relief in Hollywood tonight as a rain passes to the ground like a slow divorce. Three are gone, so at least for Andy Rooney, he can rest easy.

Will Toale out Justin Hartley in as Aquaman

Keeping secrets in Hollywood is tough. Just ask Amy Sherman-Palladino, creator of the WB series Gilmore Girls. She and the rest of the cast and crew of her show were caught off guard when it was announced back in January that the WB and UPN would fold in the fall and be merged into the CW. She thought that both network heads Les Moonves and Bruce Rosenblum should be running some sort of intelligence agency in Washington for keeping the lid on this story for so long (as both networks had begun discussion about this merger as early as Thanksgiving).

She also knows how fast things can change. While Gilmore Girls will be one of the shows to survive the merger, she is unsure of its future beyond the 2006-07 season, the shows seventh year. Before the breakup, she and her husband had been working on a new show to debut in the fall, but because of new changes, one the first things to get dropped was her new development deal with the WB.

Meanwhile, another show in development at the WB and should survive the tansistion to the CW will be Aquaman, from the Smallville creators Al Gough and Miles Millar. The series was pitched to the WB last fall when American Idol contestant Alan Ritchson played him on episode of Smallville. The ratings went up, and so it was thought a great spin-off could be launched.

Back on January 9, the WB announced that former Ambercromibe & Fitch model (which must be a prerequisite for working on the WB) Will Toale was cast as the fish guy.

But as quickly as the WB becomes the CW, Toale has been replaced by Passions hunk Justin Hartley, who will now play A.C. Curry/Aquaman.

CBS Corp. president and chief executive Leslie Moonves, who is known for his interest and savvy in pilot casting decisions, weighed in on the matter and recommended that they seek a new star, though Toale was still said to be in the running to keep the role as of last week. But after some testing, it became apparent that Hartley was going to move on up to the starring role.

And while the age old decision to replace Toale was "we wanted to take the role in a different direction" may be code for some one who has more experience. Hartley has more on-camera experience than Toale, having played Nicholas Foxworth Crane on Passions for three-plus years beginning in 2002. He earned a Soap Opera Digest Award nomination for his work last year. Toale's previous credits include cameo in the feature film Uptown Girls and the 2004 TV movie Tempting Adam.

Earlier this week, Ving Rhames (Mission: Impossible III) and former Miss Universe Denise Quinones were added to the pilot, which will follow a twentysomething Curry as he begins to discover his true heritage.

Secrets and Mystery cast changes.

Just another day in the wacky world of Hollywood.

"Your sister's not a cold-blooded murderer. She's never been a planner."

Actress Caroline Dhavernas -star of the brilliant, but short lived FOX series Wonderfalls - has said a potential movie might be in the works. The show has done fairly well on DVD and has now nearly achieved an almost cult status, gaining it a better chance that someone might help fund a movie version of this witty show created by Bryan Fuller (Star Trek) and Todd Holland (Malcolm in the Middle).

But Dhavernas says that is as far as it's gone so far. While she would return to play Jaye Tyler - a Brown University graduate who works in a Niagara Falls gift shop and discovers inanimate objects talking to her - she said it could be a few years before it happens.

Favorite quotes:

"So, how long have you been using the Republican Party as a lesbian dating service? "

Wonderfalls Security Guard: [after catching the little boy shoplifting] "You have choices, life choices. This was a bad life choice. That's why you're in an unpleasant situation. Unpleasant situations can be avoided by making good life choices."

Jaye:"I have to disagree. I make good life choices. Mostly because they're forced on me, but I make them. And I find myself in unpleasant situations all the time. You know why? Because even if you have a choice it can and will be taken away from you. We're all fate's bitch. You might as well go ahead and bend over for destiny now. "

Darrin Tyler: Sweetheart, when's the last time you had an orgasm.
[silence]
Sharon Tyler: That sound you hear is stunned silence.
Darrin Tyler: There's nothing to be ashamed of. Millions of people have orgasms every day.
Jaye: Not ashamed, mortified.

Doctor Who: A Review of the Show

Back in September of 2003, when on a weekend, the BBC announced that after 15 years, Doctor Who was returning -a day that I have been waiting for -it made me excited. Of course, I would be remiss to say it coud’ve come sooner, but its finally here.

Even though the show was announced on that late summer day, it would be a year and a half before it would be broadcast in the U.K. After all, a new Doctor had to be cast and Russell T Davies had to get the scripts together, as he was now the shows new runner.

Davies is one of Britains most respected writers for TV, and has proven again and again that he can produce the best TV on what ever budget he is given. But while he is not known here in the States, he was the creator of one of the most controversial shows to hit the British shores in years. And while the British are less parochial when it comes to sex and sexuality, it still came as a shock to many when Queer as Folk appeared in 1999. It became a hit, not because I think, of the openness of the gay characters and their bed hopping, but because it well written. People may have tuned in to see men getting it on with other men, but, like all good drama, it transcended the tawdriness and people saw that the characters were real, and the writing was crisp and electric (and also featured a character who loved Doctor Who).

The US cable network Showtime picked up the show, or I should say, adapted the show for America. Vince in the UK version who adored Doctor Who, was changed to Michael here, where his love a comic books was highlighted. The US version of QAF ended in 2005 after a five year run.

Anyway, back to Doctor Who. The BBC launched the new version in March of 2005, with Christopher Eccleston as the ninth Doctor and singer Billie Piper cast as new companion Rose. It was an instant hit. But where was it here, in the good old US of A?

For years the classic version of the show, 1963-89, had ben airing on PBS. This new show, more expensive with CGI effects and location filming in Cardiff, Wales, the show was not going to be sold to the usually financially strapped Public Broadcasting System. BBC wanted more money, so they started shopping it networks here in the US. But no one, it seemed, was biting. Perhaps -and they realized way too late - that while the BBC could bully other countries like Canada, Australia, New Zealand and what not to purchase the classic series along with the new one, the America network executives just shut their doors.

And then waiting game began.

Meanwhile, only two days after the new Who premiered, the BBC announced that a second season was already being planned (with a Christmas special to air during the holidays in 2005), but new Doctor, Christopher Eccleston, was bowing out. At first, it appeared that the star was doing this because he was afraid of typecasting, which eventually turned out to be red herring on the BBC’s part. It appeared long before the show was broadcast, the BBC was aware that Eccleston only wanted to do one season, and that it was suppose to be a secret. But as history has proven, one person spoiled it. And even though it was an honest mistake, the BBC was forced to apologize to Eccleston.

To further fix the damage that was done, the BBC announced that David Tennant would now become the 10th Doctor and beyond the planned 2005 Christmas episode and second season (along with a 2006 Christmas episode), there would be a third season of 13 episodes (which will include another Christmas episode for 2007).

Then the BBC came to America in January 2006 to work out a deal to bring the show here. With the show already airing in Canada, and with the DVD announced for February 2006 in both Great White North and here in the States, they still wanted a US distributor. As late as 2004 or early 2005, NBC/Universal seemed to be interested in the show, but it did not want the classic show. Now, the BBC seemed to realize that to get the new show on a US network, they would need to pull the classic show off the table.

And a deal was struck. NBC/Universal agreed to air the first season on their sister cable channel, The Sci Fi Network starting March 17. Thus, while the DVD release in Canada would remain for February 14, the US release will be pushed to July 4. And while this is intended to get as many viewers in the US as possible, Americans could still obtain the season boxed set from Amazon.ca, the Canadian version of the popular American one. Same region and all.

And being impatient, I decided to order it. I just could not wait until July 4. It took a week to get here, but I finally saw all 13 episodes, and I tell you it is worth the expense.

The first two episodes -Rose and The End of the World - are somewhat awkward, I guess. As with most "pilots", Rose suffers from too much exposition and a monster -while the Autons are an odd choice to launch the new series -they’ret that menacing. But the acting is superb, with Eccleston’s version of the Doctor being very different from the previous, but still retaining much of the mystery that he should have. If there is a need of a comparison, Tom Baker’s style of goofy humor and Peter Davison’s unearthliness are close to what Eccleston is trying to achieve here.

As for Billie Piper, well, I’m surprised on how good she is; and that’s not meant as I thought she would be horrible. Like all things on the internet, you hear the nastiest things about people. All I knew she was some popular pop singer in Britain, and was now acting. So people must’ve thought she was a horrible singer and was even less talented as an actress. Whatever they said, seems to not have been borne out here. She is a marvel, with a bright smile, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes and probably the most equal of all the Doctors companions.

The End of the World has some of the same issues as Rose, in the sense that once again, much expounding goes on, but the episode seems static with no clear purpose (except maybe as analogy on how "alien" space travel is for Rose -who is hip 21st Century girl with a black boyfriend).

Also, in those two episodes, the show features Rose’s Mum and boyfriend, Mickey (who the Doctor takes an immediate dislike for, calling him Ricky and other names). Camillie Coduri as Jackie Tyler is annoying shrew of Mother who appears to not have her daughters best interest at heart - at least at first. Noel Clarke suffers the same fate, as he appears to be the buffoon the Doctor seems to think Mickey is.

But, it is a testament to Davies, as both come into their own as the season progresses. Atypical of the old series, this first season features many of the adventures on Earth or close by. The arc of the season is Rose traveling with the Doctor, and reactions of her very dedicated mother and boyfriend. Jackie Tyler becomes three-dimensional and Coduri settles in nicely. Noel Clarke easily shakes off the "silly" boyfriend and grows to understand that he really loves Rose (like her mother) but sees that she needs to do what she needs to do. Only do we in Boom Town how important Micky has become and his admittance that he’ll wait for Rose, no matter how long she decides to stay with the Doctor.

Then there’s John Barrowman. Introduced in The Empty Child, this Glasgow born actor who was raised in Joliet Illinois -my old home state - shines as 51st Century Time Agent Captain Jack Harkness. His squared jawed gee wiz attitude makes him a perfect foil for both Rose and the Doctor. And, for the first time in the Who universe, he plays a guy who likes both girls and boys, and doesn’t care that anyone thinks. Only Davies -who is gay - could create a great character as Harkness and only could Barrowman -who is also openly gay - bring such a gregarious character to life without tipping the scale into campiness and other gay stereotypes. Barrowman almost steals every scene he’s in and is close to outshining Rose (which may be the reason he’ll be taking the Jack Harkness character to his own show, as the spin-off Torchwood {an anagram of Doctor Who} will launch in the fall of 2006. I can’t help but wonder if an American TV executive would be brave enough to launch a new sci/fi adventure series featuring an openly gay actor in the lead?).

Emotional, fast, very funny and way ahead of the classic series, this new version clearly shows what a true fan can do when given the chance. While granted Davies has a proven track record, his love of Doctor Who shines through in every episode. He knows what he’s doing and its clear that the BBC understand this, by clearly giving him latitude to do it.

So, while I was not "enthused" so much with the first two episodes, the remaining 11 shattered all my doubts. I mean, anyone that can make the Daleks scary again deserves a fair chance. While improved visual effects have made the Daleks more maneuverable and real, it still comes down to the scripts.

Fantastic, as the Doctor number nine says often. Brilliant also.

Coming soon: Episode reviews.

Books of 2006, Part 2: Cell

Cell

by Stephen King

While not as bold and original as The Stand, King's return to the "end of the world" genre is still worth a read. As a long time fan, King has rarely disappointed me and Cell works on many creepy levels and from now on I will never look at my mobile phone in the same way.

While he said he wanted to retire, my guess is now that King meant retiring just from the many connections his novels were to the Dark Tower Universe. Free from that, I'm guessing he'll put out a book or two a year (whill have a new one out in October).

And then there's his articles in Entertainment Weekly, which are always interesting.

A Hidden Frontier Weekend

So, the weekend turned out better than I ever thought.

Spent all of Saturday at the first(?) official Star Trek: Hidden Frontier Convention. Not that it could really be called that, but still, for lack of a better term...

Anyway, got to meet some of the people that put this fan created web series together, and while I was not surprised on how many people showed up (Star Trek fans are like bees in search of nectar; they know damn well where to find it), it still seemed a bit strange to see people gathering in this small room at the Four Points Hotel.

It was a joy to meet the adorable J.T. Tepnapa and Adam Browne. John Whiting, who is a delight to talk to and who has a great wit and sparkle in his eye was someone I would've not missed. Then there is the equally adorable Rob Caves -the mastermind behind this series, and the beautiful women of HF, Risha Denny, Jennifer Cole, Barbara Clifford, Julie Gardner, Renee Huberstock and Rebecca Wood.

Then there was the very TALL David Dial, Commodore Ian Quincy Knapp himself. God, it was a blast.

Then, Rob asked the fans to drop by on Sunday as filming continues on the first episode of season seven. It was even cooler than Saturday, as we all got to see how these actors became the characters on HF.

Seeing how John and Adam put the make-up on Julie and Rebecca and seeing how all of this is done in front of a green screen, well, I was impressed.

Plus, I got to meet some new friends (beyond, I hope, the HF crew), like Dale, Tommy and Thomas (the mastermind behind Saturday's Excelsior Ball), Will and Matt.

Live strong, indeed.

Million Little Pieces author admits (in not so many words) that he lied. Adds new Author note to the book.

Despite recent revelations that Million Little Pieces author James Frey fabricated much of his addiction recovery “memoir”, the book continues to sell on both the brick and mortar level, as well as in the e-universe.

Which just goes to show you how Americans are still gullible lemmings, coming to the my book store like zombies from a George Romero film and plunking down their credit cards and purchasing the tome under the misguided notion that the “central message” of his recovery from drug and alcohol abuse is worth buying the book.

While that may be true, he still lied, which is what an alcoholic is: a master magician, conjuring stories to hide their prevarications. He has written a three page addendum to his book (and which was posted on Random House’s website) that will be added in subsequent reprints of the “memoir”.

As I wrote earlier, he now admits that the narrative flow was more important than journalistic truth. His lies included the invention of a three-month jail term, exaggerated other run-ins with law officials and distorted his role in a train crash that killed a high school classmate. He also acknowledges making himself appear “tougher and more daring and more aggressive than in reality I was, or I am.”

The book was shopped to publishers as both a fiction title and a memoir, but his literary agent, Kassie Evashevski, has said there was only brief discussion of shopping the book as fiction, out of respect for his family's privacy. But even as it was published in 2003, there were rumors that much of what Frey wrote was fiction.

In the new Authors Note, Frey defends his decision about how he wrote about his recovery, covering, saying “People cope with adversity in many different ways, ways that are deeply personal. My mistake, and it is one I deeply regret, is writing about the person I created in my mind to help me cope, and not the person who went through the experience.”

He also mentions that while he used medical records, therapists' notes and personal journals, he decided to use his memory in writing his tale. This should’ve been the publisher’s first indication that maybe what Frey was writing was coming from a fuzzy, drug addled recollections.

Like Mary Karr -author of two memoirs (The Liars Club and Cherry) - and one of his toughest critics, says that while “He keeps saying there's a great debate about fact and fiction in memoirs, but the only debate is in his mind. It's not really that hard; you just don't make stuff up.”

Amen.